1. Everyone thinks you’re related to someone they know.
You think I’m related to THAT guy??
2. Or they make dumb jokes about you joining the witness protection program.
*Forces laugh through gritted teeth*
3. You have to put lots of numbers and underscores in your online usernames.
Every variation of your first and last name is taken. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
4. There are, like, ten of you in roll call every semester.
5. There’s a very real possibility that you could marry someone who already shares your last name.
And you’re prepared for the creepy “you’re actually siblings” jokes.
6. You’re mentioned in numerous corny songs.
“Mr. Jones and Me”, “Me and Mr. Jones”, “Me and Mrs. Jones” — need I go on? And seriously, where is the originality in these titles??
7. The TSA is always suspicious of your fake sounding name.
The security guards are always like, “No really, what’s your last name?”
8. When you google yourself, a convict shows up.
Well, this is awkward.
9. Or a celebrity — usually B-list.
“Hey, aren’t you”- Nope!
10. You can’t go by your middle name, because that’s common too.
Everyone’s middle name is Marie. EVERYONE.
11. You’ve had to get creative when putting your extended family in your phonebook.
Otherwise, how can you be sure?
12. But at the end of the day, you still love your name.
Because there’s only one of you! *flips hair*.