1. Cats don’t give a shit about how hungry you are because they’ll always be hungrier.
“Hey kitty, I’m not sure you’ll like that.” “Ah, ah, human. Let me see about that.”
2. Cats don’t give a shit about vanity, so they have absolutely no need to be photogenic.
3. Like, ever.
4. Cats don’t give a single shit about personal space.
5. Nor do they give much of a shit about privacy.
They’ll be there when you shower, they’ll be there when you poo.
6. Cats don’t give a shit how much you want to use your laptop. Laptops are warm and made to be laid upon.
7. Cats don’t give a shit if they have a perfectly good water bowl in the kitchen. Why use that when they can drink from the tap?
8. Or the toilet bowl.
Who gives a shit? Cats don’t.
9. Cats don’t really give much of a shit about what you have to say.
Unless it’s about food, in which case they’re all ears.
10. Cats don’t give a shit if this is your seat. Not any more.
Every chair, table, and counter belongs to your cat.
11. Cats don’t give a shit about your other pets and their belongings.
“Oh, this is your bed, dog? That’s a shame.”
12. Cats don’t give a shit about how productive you need to be. Your time is way better spent paying attention to them.
13. Cats don’t give a shit about the bath you just cleaned. It makes a way better bed anyway.
14. As does your stomach.
15. As does your hand.
16. Basically, a cat’s sleep is way more important than yours.
And they don’t give a shit whether you want them to sleep on you or not.
17. Cats don’t give a shit about looking murderously creepy.
Sure, it may look like they’re plotting to kill you sometimes, but they like to keep things ambiguous.
18. And they don’t give a shit about the ferociousness of their resting bitch face.
It adds to their appeal.
19. Cats don’t give a shit about any of your shoes.
If there’s space for a toy mouse, they’ll place it there with abandon.
20. Cats definitely do not give a shit about rules and “no-go areas”.
21. Love and value your toes? Cats don’t give a shit about that.
They will nibble on them all.
22. Cats will literally destroy everything you own and not give a single shit.
“AND I’D DO IT AGAIN, DAMNIT!”