Two cannot walk together unless they have reached a consensus.
In any relationship, agreement is key. Agreement is important in how we transact, communicate, and how we react to issues. Two cannot walk together unless they have reached a consensus. Although, in most cases, our intention is not to hurt or cause the other to feel rejected, many relationships feel like they are on a downward spiral to a loveless state. What could we be doing that could eventually destroy our relationship? Can we actually destroy a relationship that would have become a successful marriage?
Sadly, the answer is yes! This is how we do it.
Excluding your partner
Are you at times the last to know about important events in your partner’s life? Do you feel a sense that some things are being kept away from you deliberately? Do you share important personal issues, failures, associations, career-related issues, emotional struggles, or achievements? If you do not, small seeds of felling less important, unvalued and insignificant begin to settle. How about when you discover that the information your partner was hiding from you is known to a close relative, a family friend or a workmate?
No longer dreaming together
What we fail to schedule ceases to be important to the relationship. A sign of trouble ahead is when we start moving in completely separate orbits, or stop working together on day-to-day issues. When we stop doing things together that create a bond of fellowship, then we stop dreaming of what things could become in the relationship. Slowly but surely, distance develops and we become strangers.
Not confronting issues at the opportune time
Although some people believe in ‘better late than never,’ the timing when an issue is shared is as critical as the solving of the issue. Some people ignore an issue too long, and by the time they are tackling it, it has already damaged the relationship. It has become evident that when a couple fails to resolve arguments, then with time it will lead to failed relationship.
An insightful couple must always realise that the clock starts ticking on the marriage as soon as one spouse covers up the problems, or ignores them. The more time that passes after that without any effort to resolve them made, the lower the odds are that you’ll stay together, says Bryce Kaye, author of The Marriage First Aid Kit.
Recently, I read somewhere that one of the first warning signs of potential problems in a marriage is complacency. This is the practice of taking each other for granted in the relationship, neglecting to spend time together, or forgetting to complement your partner.
Unfaithfulness may begin in little things like not fulfilling your promises, giving excuses to cover up on issues, keeping secrets, or spending money and being unaccountable. When we are complacent, this has a way of working behind the scenes to destroy and whitewash our well-intended actions, and all the positive attributes that make up our marriage.