This issue has come to be a norm. Boys will always be boys, right? You will ever find them dating another woman apart from their woman. But if it happens to you, definitely its no end of the world. Its very painful and demeaning especially when you become tagged with different names.
Take for instance despite valiant human rights work on behalf of Angelina Jolie to make “the other woman” not look like a big ol’ skank, the truth is most people still think “the other is a slut”
1. First of all, look at yourself in the mirror and say this as many times as you need to: “I am not a bad person.”
If you tell people about your affair, you’ll get called every name in the book by your guy’s wife or girlfriend, her friends, and possibly by him. The hardest part of this whole situation is the judgment that others cast upon you, not the heartbreak. Nasty labels like “slut,” “skank,” and “whore” really sting, especially since I’m guessing you, like me, sincerely believed the only new label you’d be picking up would be “girlfriend.”
It’s vital to your self-esteem that you realize you made some stupid mistakes when you had the oxytocin hormone pumping through your body, but you’re not a bad person overall. Words like “slut” are only as painful as you let them be.
2. Stop thinking in black and white.
Everything from here on out is in a morally gray area. You hear that? Gray! Banish all-or-nothing thinking from your brain, such as, “But he can’t do that!” Sure he can, honey, and he just did.
I know that everything feels black and white right now, like his wife or girlfriend just has to see all these text messages he sent you saying he’s falling more in love every day. But when cooler heads prevail, you’ll stop thinking in absolutes.
3. Prepare yourself for him telling you that “you believed what you wanted to believe.”
And that’s fine with him—whatever he tells himself you believe on your own helps him sleep better at night! When you say, “But you told me you’d break up with her for me!” he’ll tell you that’s just what you wanted to think. And in a tone of voice which indicates you must have been an idiot to believe that.
4. Realize that his wife or girlfriend doesn’t want (or need) to talk to you.
You’ll tell yourself that she absolutely must talk to you to hear the whole story. News flash: You remind Cheater’s Wife/Girlfriend of his infidelity and she does not want that rubbed in her face any more than she’d want dog poo on a silver platter.
5. She also doesn’t care about apologies from you either
6. Don’t tell people who know the couple involved.
Your friends or family might feel like they have to pick sides. Trust me, that’s a situation you’re better off avoiding. My advice? Telling a friend far away—perhaps someone who lives in country other yours—is a far better idea if you really need a pal to talk some sense into you.
7. I know you don’t want to hear this but … let him go (he’s not worth it).
If he is cheating on his wife or girlfriend with you, he is not anyone with whom you want to be involved.
My guy said over and over again that he wanted to break up with her for me and he kept asking me to trust that he would eventually do that. But eventually, I realized I was being stupid and it became obvious he wasn’t telling the truth to either of us. If we had started dating, what basis would I have to ever believe him?
8. Let cliché advice set you free
Simcha has a great little saying to remind you that you’re better off without all this drama: “If you lay down with the dogs, you’re going to get fleas.” It’s a fancy way of saying: You are not Angelina Jolie, he is not Brad Pitt, and this is always going to end in disaster.
9. When you find a new, unattached boyfriend (preferably after lots of therapy!), you’ll realize life goes on.
A couple of months down the line, you’ll no longer have feelings for this jerk. And a couple of years later, he’ll be buried in the credits along with so many other minor characters in your life