Having a physical affair is wrong in so many ways. But what happens when you have an emotional affair and how do you even know you’re having one?
If you’ve ever had to tell your partner that you’re “just friends” with another member of the opposite gender and you KNOW you’ve never been physical with them, you need to ask yourself whether or not you could actually be having an emotional affair here.
Just because our friendship/relationship with someone who isn’t our partner hasn’t yet got sexual, it doesn’t mean that we’re not guilty of having an affair of the emotional sort. Sometimes, the warning signs are obvious: We go to the other person first, when we need to talk.
We start planning things with them in our heads. Hey, we might even start to imagine what it would have been like, had we got with them instead of our partner. However, the signs aren’t always so obvious. Let’s take a look at 10 reasons you might be having an emotional affair.
You’d Be Embarrassed If Your Partner Saw Your Conversations
When we converse with our friends via text, we can get a bit rude, a bit gossipy and maybe even a bit naughty (not in that way!). But we draw the line at having conversations that we’d hate our partner to see. In fact, the only conversations we wouldn’t want our partner to see are usually about them.
For example, we might be raising concerns about our relationship or talking about their bad habits! However, if you’ve been having conversations with a friend that would make you mortified if your partner ever saw them, because of their risqué content, then you’re playing with fire. If your partner saw them, how would they react? Would they be upset? If you know deep down that you shouldn’t be having certain types of conversations, it’s a sign that you’re involved in an emotional affair.
You Dress To Impress Someone Else
If you’re in a happily committed relationship with someone you both love and fancy, that person should be the only one you want to dress to impress. Sure, there’ll be evenings out, conferences and cocktails with the girls where you want to look nice, but when it comes to the opposite sex, there should be only one person whose eye you want to catch. If, however, you’ve recently been getting all dolled up for someone else, you need to question your intentions. Why are you trying so hard to impress them? Do you see them as more than a friend? Do you want something else? Making an effort to look nice is fine. But trying to impress a specific member of the opposite gender, who isn’t your partner, is something else altogether.
Your Partner Has Raised Concerns
If your partner has gone as far as questioning your friendship with this other person, you need to take their concerns seriously. Clearly, something isn’t right.
You Seek Alone Time With Someone Else
Alone time is key to a happy relationship. We all want to spend one-on-one time with our partner, cuddling in bed or cosying up to a TV show. But what does it mean when you start seeking alone time with someone else? It’s not a good sign. In fact, it’s a pretty huge sign that you’re having an emotional affair.
You Text A LOT
We all have friends of the opposite gender who we text, chat to on social media and perhaps even email. But we know there are boundaries and we tend to know when too much texting becomes unacceptable and just plain wrong. If you know deep down that you text a LOT, then there’s clearly something up. The only person you should be texting a lot is your partner. If your inbox with another guy is stuffed, it’s another massive sign that you’ve got an emotional affair going on here.
You Fantasise Them
Okay, we know that everyone – even those in otherwise happy relationships – have fantasies. It’s normal to fantasise. But it’s not okay or normal to fantasise about another guy who we know well.
Fantasising about a friend when we’re supposedly in a loving relationship is taboo and another huge sign that somethings not right. If you’ve genuinely spent time wondering how they kiss or what it would be like to sleep with them, you need to stop and think about what’s going on here.
They Get You
Your partner used to “get” you. That’s why you got together with him in the first place. But now you’re starting to think someone else gets you. They get your quirks, your habits, they share your sense of humour and even finish off your sentences. There’s a certain synergy going on that’s kinda weird but feels right. In which case, it’s probably very wrong.
You Share In-Jokes
If the two of you share in-jokes that no one else would get, it’s another sign that you’re involved in an emotional affair here. Maybe you’ve created memes together that only you two would laugh at. If so, it’s kinda a bad sign that something isn’t right in your relationship. In-jokes? They’re for best friends and our partners. They’re not really for other members of the opposite sex.
You’ve Started To Delete Texts In case Your Partner Sees Them
If you feel the need to delete a text in case your partner sees it, what do you think that means? From an outsiders perspective, it suggests that you know you’re being a bit naughty. Once you start hiding stuff from your partner, especially conversations with other guys, it’s a surefire sign that somethings going on.
You Wish Your Partner Was More Like Them
This one is a pretty big telltale sign of an emotional affair. If things have got to the point where you’re actually wishing your partner was more like someone else, it’s time for you to decide who you should really be with. Otherwise, things are just going to get more and messier, because you’re now involved in an emotional affair.